Nadine laid across the bed, draped in a pink robe and completely out of it, as usual. The clock read 7:45 AM, and by then dawn had broken. She slowly stirred, and then sat up. “God, I need a drink,” she muttered, sliding out of bed. Her knees buckled upon contact with the ground, and she was barely able to stand up.
She collapsed at the family altar, which was near the flat-screen television. She picked herself up, just, and knelt down to pray. But she didn’t pray in the classical sense. She clasped her hands together and mumbled something that was neither Italian nor English nor Latin, and made the sign of the cross with a half-hearted effort. At her bathroom sink, she opened a bottle of Listerine, poured a cup, and downed the contents.
A few minutes later, Nadine was walking slowly down the staircase when she saw Joseph walk in. “Oh, Joseph, it’s you,” she said, clutching the rail.
Joseph looked chipper and neater than his wife. “Did you have a good night’s sleep?”
“Yes, in fact,” she said with an attempt to be straight-faced. “How was it with Melanie?”
“Oh, the same. Dinner, dancing, but no nookie.”
“Right. I’ll get on with breakfast.”
Joseph walked over to escort Nadine, but she brushed him off. “I’ll be fine.”
A short while later, Nadine and Joseph were seated in the breakfast nook. His eyes were glued onto the National Post, and she was drinking coffee, which was unusual for her. And there were no bottles of liqueur in sight. Usually, she would “Irish” up her coffee, but this time, there was nothing but sweetener and cream.
“How’s your coffee?” Joseph asked.
“Delicious. It’s been over a month since I began the morning with something other than alcohol.”
“I can tell. The rosiness in your cheeks is back. I haven’t seen you like this since you were pregnant with Charlotte.”
Nadine put her cup down. “I can’t believe that Graziano is alive, and happy.”
Joseph nodded. “I can’t believe we ever had him in the first place. But my plan is going to change everything.”
“What plan?”
Joseph put down his paper. “Well, I don’t think it’s enough to get rid of him in one fell swoop. That would be too easy. No, here’s what I envision: on the 13th of December, we’re going to attack the very people that he loves the most: his teacher, his shrink, and his current whore.”
“Why December 13th?”
“Because it’s the feast of Saint Lucia, the patroness of the blind. None of them will see it coming at all.”
“Oh, that’s GENIUS!” Nadine exclaimed giddily.
“I know,” Joseph responded confidently. “I haven’t worked out the details just yet, but I figure that we can work with your private eye.”
“Sure thing,” Nadine said, sipping her coffee. “I have a meeting with him later today. After I fuck him, we’ll talk about it.”
“Good.”
The two continued their breakfast rituals: Nadine with the coffee, and Joseph with the paper. This went on for a few minutes, and then Nadine said, “Just one thing.”
Joseph looked up, worried. “What?”
Nadine walked over to the refrigerator. “Michael and Denise hate Graziano’s guts, too. They’re still pissed about what went down at Ashley’s party. Why don’t we get them in on it somehow?”
Joseph thought about it for a few minutes, and then nodded in agreement. “Ashley was really upset. She was crying a storm after that monster left. She hasn’t gotten over it, poor thing.”
“That boy has ruined too many lives in this family,” Nadine said as she took out a chilled bottle of Grey Goose vodka. “He’s ruined my life, your life, Charlotte’s life, Michael’s life, Denise’s life, Ashley’s life… the only way that any of us can get a good night’s sleep is if he’s done with once and for all. The best way to do that is to take out his ‘loved ones’, as you propose. We’ve done it before, and we can do it again.”
Nadine sat down and poured some of the vodka in her coffee. She drank it up, and said, “Now, THAT is going to make my cheeks rosy.”
Joseph chuckled. “You’re a lot more intelligent than people give you credit for, Nadine.”
“I know. Besides, Graziano has more suicide attempts than Princess Diana did. Eventually, something has to give.” Nadine leaned in toward her husband. “I haven’t felt this optimistic in years.”
“Who knows?” Joseph said. “Maybe we’ll be able to fuck each other for the first time.”
They looked at each other, and laughed.
